Monday, October 15, 2007

True Love

You're at a wedding sitting at a round table, strangers all around minus your girlfriend directly beside you to the right. A piece of bread gets stuck in your throat. You're a fast eater, don't chew your food properly, so it happens all the time. But this time it's different. This time the food seals your airway shut, you can't take in any air. You stay calm, assess the situation and realize you're choking. You take a sip of white wine but it does nothing. You turn to the stranger directly to your left and manage to squeak out an I'm choking. The stranger to your left isn't quite sure what to make of it. You've already shared a few laughs with him, so maybe he thinks you said I'm joking. After that things get a little foggy. At some point you stand up and the stranger sitting directly across from you- the one who made the joke about how he hasn't fallen asleep at the Matador in years that caused you to laugh which caused you to choke - tells you to put your arms up. You're still calm and do what he says. Christ, you would have jumped up and down on one leg if somebody told you too because, hey, you're choking. This is unfamiliar territory and you don't know the protocol. Sure you've heard about people choking, even know someone who died from it, but now it's actually happening to you. In your mind you're thinking this could be it, this could be my time. You don't panic. Your girlfriend gets up and starts to administer the Heimlich. She loves you and you're in good hands, so you stay calm and wonder if the piece of bread lodged in your throat is going to shoot out across the table. How cool would that be? At this point you haven't taken a breath in maybe 30 seconds. She squeezes, pulling in and up, in and up, in and up, and you start to cough. The bread doesn't shoot out, but it's loosened up and you manage to get in a tiny bit of air. You're barely breathing at this point, but as you struggle to get air in and out the piece of bread breaks down and makes it's way down your throat. Your girlfriend has saved your life. White as a ghost and on some weird 'I just cheated death/inhaled way too much oxygen' high, you sit back down, take a sip of wine and think, Did that just happen?

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