Eye Weekly Jan. 05/06

Tense times on the homefront have done the impossible - you're so eager to get to work these days, you're practically giddy. This is a bad, bad sign, Capricorn. Take whatever steps are necessary to set things right. I smell a cramped, clammy basement bachelor apartment across town coming on.

"Man, living at home is such a drag, well your mom threw away your best porno mag."