Defense

He feels bad, like a judgmental prick. His brother told him he was judgmental once – back when they were living together - and it stuck. He’s not sure what the word judgmental even means…

Is it judging someone solely by their appearance, because they are different than you? Doesn't everybody do that?

But he is not judging, just trying to figure them out. It is defense mechanism, fear rooted in insecurity, figure them out before they figure him out, before they see what’s really going on inside. That way he wins, that way he’s proved to the world that he’s stronger.